Have you ever felt trapped living a lie?

On a recent episode of Soul.TV a woman asked us for some for help.

She was still living with her ex-husband after being divorced for 4 years and she also acknowledged that she had been struggling to go through with taking any action towards finalising the property settlement for the past 3 years and hadn’t discussed this with her ex husband, oh and the inlaws still don’t even know they are divorced.  She is feeling stuck and trapped!

The truth is that we already have the answers to our own problems but sometimes they get so clouded by our fears of an uncertain future we can stay trapped in a life we don’t want and afraid to do what we really want to do.  Whether it’s a major change we want to make in our lives or something like giving up smoking or losing weigh every fear, worry or anxious thought we have about it will activate a little part of our brain that is on the alert for danger and it’s job is to keep us safe and exactly where we are now.

The facts are that change is not always easy and leaving what is familiar for an uncertain future can be very challenging.  If it’s security and certainty that is keeping you stuck than it’s only a matter of time before you realise that security and certainty are nothing more than illusions.   Life does not come with a certificate that guarantees that you will always be secure and that you will always know what is going to happen next.

Feeling trapped and living a lie doesn’t just apply to a relationship although I have heard plenty of stories from women who knew for a long time that their husbands where cheating and chose to well, live a lie and bury their heads in the sand and hope it would all just go away.

We look at people in the media we admire and think they have it all together. Great job, the lifestyle, the relationship, the money and when they come crashing down and we see another side to their lives we are left wondering how that could possibly happen. For me it highlights not just the perceptions we have of other people but also the face we show to the world.

We all engage in self-deception, rationalisation and lies in varying degrees. We use self-deception to keep us from facing the reality of our finances, our health our sexuality and our relationships. We add colour to our experiences to make them sound more exciting and interesting, we exaggerate our opportunities or our abilities to boost our sense of self, we justify our spending habits and when we are feeling like a failure and a fraud we put on our biggest smiles and pretend that all is right in our world.

Take some time to identify in what areas of your life you are living a lie?

Decide what you are going to do about, get help if you need it and then enjoy the sense of freedom that comes with taking your head out of the sand and the new possibilities that may open up for you.

Please share your thoughts, comments, or personal story via email

With love and gratitude

Jenny xx


Soul TV expert badge

View the Soul.TV episodes subscribe here: